Velvet Underground: The Aftermath

I keep telling myself to cut down on my clubbing outings and yet almost every weekend without fail I will be at Velvet's dance floor gyrating with my girlfriends.

For those who has never heard of this place, here's a description:
- It's right next to Zouk in KL, possibly one of the most visited clubs on Saturday nights
- Plays R n B (Yeeeaahh...). Hell I've gone so often I even know what song comes after next.
- It is super packed and hot..
- The drinks ain't cheap.. (Expect to fork out RM350 at least for one bottle, Cover charge is RM45 - RM50)
- But the crowd makes it all worthwhile....

I use to frequent Poppy Garden and I have to admit the R n B selection at Poppy is much better than Velvet. But the management should seriously do something about the ventilation! It's so fucking hot in that place. I don't even have to move or dance in that place and sweat droplets are forming on my neck (At least at Velvet, you can stand at some strategic spots for the air conditioning). But anyway, crowd-wise the people that frequent Velvet are more preppish or yuppish (which is my type of crowd) and not so CINA :D

Last night my girlfriend and I were checking out some seriously cute guys but Shit..we were amongst the guys we usually hang out with. Talk about "spoil market"... The group of guys next to us were pretty friendly and we were dancing with them half the time. Were they smooth enough to gather our numbers? Yes.

Now I have had many guy pals asking me for tips on how to talk to girls at clubs. Here's my take on it:

Appearance
I don't think think all women put high emphasis on looks. We're not all that shallow, but a man would score high brownie points if he looked (and smelled) presentable.
I'm guilty of checking out a guy's threads in clubs, I'm very into the preppy, GAP or Banana Republic "clean, sharp" look. So brothers, a nice decent shirt or fitting tee worn over neat jeans/slacks/khakis will do. Decent shoes that match the outfit will do. Please save your Birkenstocks, Nike slippers and Bata sandals for the beach outings or for the lepak coffee sessions at mamaks or Starbucks. Slick back your hair, make sure your breath smells good and vomit-free (it's going to be impossible to talk with loud music at the background so there will be plenty of close lean-ins and breath smelling).
Important: Tight fitting clothes don't work if you have a bulging beer belly. Dress to accentuate your stature and body (sorry to sound like a womens' magazine).

Alcohol
Offering a chick a drink may help. Buy from the bar a cocktail of her choice, or if you wish to pour her a drink from a bottle take the decency to check with her how much alcohol you should pour into the glass. Some women may not take drinks from strangers (safety reasons) but if she is already comfortable in your presence (i.e. you have gained some trust), make the drink in front her. Don't slosh too much alcohol into the drink; most women do not enjoy drinking whisky or vodka in high concentrations.
Tres important: Chatting a girl up while drunk is not going to work if you can't even string proper words together. Granted alcohol tends to give men more courage but please please please watch your intake. Don't want to be seen as a leery pervert right?

Lines
Basic "Hi" works just fine. If she walks off or just gives you a "look" and doesn't respond, move along buddy. Get used to rejection. But should you strike gold, an interested (or friendly) girl will smile and respond. Eye contact is important, it is likely she would've checked you out before you spoke to her and already mentally ticked a "Yes" in her head.
It would be fruitful to observe the girl you are keen to talk to from afar before speaking to her. Is she with a bunch of girlfriends most of the time? Score. Is she talking and dancing real close to a guy the whole night? Don't bother.
Most interesting lines I've ever heard of:
"Are you a Sargeant? 'Coz your makin' my Private stand..."
"Kena saman already? No? Ok I'm going to saman you now. Whats your number?"

Dancing and Body Contact
The key is to make a woman feel comfortable in your presence. So please, do not make any forms of body contact unless she starts dancing close to you and puts her hands on you. Even so, you can respond by putting your hands on her waist (safe place). Hands should not roam down south (unless she puts your hands there, you lucky bugger) unless you want a slap on your face or a drink on your head.
I'm sorry to say this but yes, most women will take into account a man's dancing skills at clubs. So for those with two left feet:
1) Watch more Justin Timberlake videos for good examples
2) Join a Body Jam or Dance class at your nearby gym for more hands on experience
3) Don't dance; just shuffle from one feet to another with a drink in your hand and try to look cool.

The Phone Number Part
This is very tricky. Most women may give numbers out if they've had pleasant conversations with the men they meet at clubs but some may hesitate. Never mind, even if you did not get the digits hope you derived pleasure from the lovely conversation with a leng lui.
And please, if you don't plan to call her don't bother getting the digits. That's not very nice :)

Song of the Week: Put Your Hands Up for Detroit by Fedde Le Grand